Admittedly, I hadn't realized I'd had a need for an "affair support forum" until a few years ago. I'd already had an ongoing relationship with my AP (affair partner) for a little over a decade before even thinking of searching the internet for "betrayed spouse" support forums. It seemed perfectly reasonable to me for there to be online forums for the "betrayed spouse" (BS) to gain support from others who have similar circumstances and experiences to share. At the time, I felt as though I was on the verge of yet another D-day (Discovery Day) ... and for some reason, I felt my MM's BS
(oh, the acronyms* in these forums are cumbersome! Translation: my MM's BS = my married man's wife) might be participating in a BS support forum, and I spent way too much time lurking a few of the BS/infidelity forums thinking I would be able to identify her.
(Commentary: in retrospect, I'm doubtful she ever has participated in such a forum. I probably wasted a lot of time, but also learned a bit too much about BS behavior following a D-day.)Having lurked the BS forums, it dawned on me to search for an
affair support forum to get support for my role in our affair ... and there seemed to be very few to choose from: I found myself on a number of different websites, blogs, and forums trying to find a place where I believe I'd feel comfortable. Some of the search results I'd followed were outdated and I found the forums long since dead, or in the process of dying. At least one other forum I'd stumbled across and lurked around for awhile was most definitely
not for the "other woman" (or "other man") in an affair at all, but instead was support for the betrayed spouse.
There was another forum that showed up in the results that I was somewhat appalled by
(hint: The B52's once sang about "a little old place where we can get together") -- OW and OM were getting next to
no support I could see, and the betrayed spouse(s) were able to post in the OtherMan/OtherWoman section of the forum. I'm not sure whether they believed themselves to be delivering "tough love", but from my perspective it went well beyond being anything helpful. I've lurked there again within the past few months, and while the support has improved marginally, it still doesn't seem like a welcoming or supportive forum for the participants in an affair.
When I'd discovered the predecessor to ClubTOW -- T.O.W. forum -- I was admittedly a little put off at first. I'd registered to the site, but it was several days before my registration was approved.
(New members to ClubTOW are typically reviewed for approval in less than 24 hours currently; spammers are rejected routinely.) Once approved and able to sign into T.O.W. forum, I found that I had to give a brief introduction before gaining access to the rest of the forum. It seemed like a lot of hoops to jump through just to gain support when I felt that I was about to experience (yet another) D-day, but in retrospect it makes sense -- I was a new unknown member; it's not as though other members could vouch for me as a legitimate OW from the start. Just as the seemingly stern warnings and rules about "TMI" are there to protect not only the forum but each and every one of its members.
We carry on those traditions to this day to keep our members supported and protected.When an affair is going incredibly well, it's hard not to have anyone you can share this relationship with. Very few of us have real-life friends we can discuss such matters with.
My own affair partner will sometimes quote Ben Franklin "Three may keep a Secret, if two of them are dead." ClubTOW offers a safe refuge to discuss what goes on with your own affair as well as to lend support to other OW (married/single other woman) or MM (married man). Maybe you need support while NC/LC (no contact/low contact) with your affair partner. People in love often feel a need to have their relationship publicly recognized, and that is often not a possibility with extramarital affairs. And when an affair blows up in a D-day style, or simply needs to come to an end, it's not often something that can be shared with friends or family. The "scarlet letter" mentality can persist even once the affair is over.
There are also those who successfully transition to a relationship outside of the affair bubble, which can present other challenges not necessarily anticipated during the affair.
If you've found this post, it was by design: much of ClubTOW forum is behind closed doors for privacy and protection of our members. Various webcrawlers (Google, Bing Yahoo, etc.) do not have access to the heart of ClubTOW. While we would love to be found by those who need affair support, we don't want to be found
too easily either.
*I found the acronyms a little difficult to get used to initially ... they get easier with time, but I rather enjoy the 'cast of characters' many of our members utilize in the forum. 
