(From the 2nd/Good Housekeeping article):
Fact #7: A wife often knows her husband's cheating.
How could Tiger Woods's ex, Elin Nordegren, and Arnold Schwarzenegger's ex, Maria Shriver, not have known what their high-profile husbands were up to? They probably did, but couldn't bear to acknowledge it. "At one level, I knew, but my denial was so strong," says Lily* from Toronto, Canada. "The pain, had I accepted it at that time, would have been too horrendous, so I had to process it slowly."
This was definitely true in our case. I think everyone BUT Ivy knew, pretty much all along...even her best friend told her at one point that there was "something going on between Love and MWH" and she shrugged it off saying she had "more important things to worry about." (?)
It wasn't until months after he'd left her and had moved in with me (he'd told her he was "staying with a friend") that she finally took it upon herself to do a little investigating and confronted him. At that point we were more concerned about protecting her as much as possible and not making it any worse than it already was, so we agreed that the best thing was for him to immediately come clean with her. We knew if he didn't she'd keep digging until she found the truth anyway, and what would the point of that have been.
So, he told her that he was in love with someone else (she immediately guessed that it was me), he confirmed it, and she beat him to the punch and filed for D several days later.